About (Nothing Much)

Joe Shmoe & Sons imagine that sound tree-hugger practices add up. Our efficient approach is designed to respect Mother Earth, cut down our water use, reuse garage sale shit, and cut down on all them mutant greenhouse and energy bunny pollutants. Holla!

Show Tender, Loving Kindness To The Dirt! (Yeah, That's Right -- Get Down On Your Knees & Kiss That Shit!)

Here's how all this madness is gonna go down:

• Using biological procedures to avoid excessive use of chemical sprays (Mace in yo' face!). Natural gas is how it's passed. ;)
• Corn rows planted with bug-repellent features (such as fugly bucktoothed scarecrows) to reduce pesticide use.
• Epsom salts used to toughen skins and induce explosive Hershey squirts (get ready to quarantine your crib), decreasing pressure like none other! Have some milk and cookies to ease the fire between your ass cheeks. You're welcome! ;)
• 100 % natural seaweed (and some natural weed -- yeah, we got you! =D) fertilisers used as a nice alternative to synthetics (Yeah, that nastiness will fuck you up!)
• Multi-tasking vineyard gear (for wine-pressing mofos who don't like squishing grapes between their toes...eewwww! =P) used to lower the amount of tractor passes in your vineyard.
• Planting authentic organic green grass to prevent soil erosion.
• Avoidance of heavy machinery to decrease soil compression & compaction.
• Cut down H2O use -- just use gin & tonic and some lemon juice. Done & done!
• Vineyard moisture is delivered via a drip-based system to make better use of drinking water resources.
• Productive winery pattern results in lower water use in cellars - 45% less than the vineyard industry standard
• Winery roof covering rainwater picked up and utilised - lone source of winery water
• All winery waste material water viewed and used on-site using biological unit and woodlot cure
• Recycling
• Making an earnest attempt to recycle newspaper, cardboard, glass material, and plastic waste products as much as friggin' possible.
Recycled products and services take up all the space. Suck it, bitch! (Just kidding..jeez, don't be so sensitive! ;))
• Signatory to the Australian Packaging Covenant. (Sounds pretty fancy, doesn't it! Hahaha...)
• Cut down on electrical power use and greenhouse fart bubble emissions.
• Winery complexes and tanks that are seriously insulated to get rid of energy fill.
• Aesop's Hillsides Wine Section has an environmental leadership tool to be used by all relapsing winos.

Monitor and report green dwelling gas pollutants to whoever the fuck you want. Okay, bye! And don't forget to scarf down your imaginary milk and cookies!